Bloggy Style

Please Sort It Out.

2012-02-04T11:41:00.008Z

I'm pissed off. It's been a very long time since I wrote anything for this blog, partly because of work, but mainly because, for a long while, I didn't really have much to say. Now I do. I'm angry and I need to vent. What I'm angry about is the overwhelming sense that Arsenal Football Club is mugging me off. I'm sick of hearing Arsene Wenger spout shit about bad luck, injuries, potential… just give us the flipping truth mate and admit you've fucked up massively.

The frailties of the team were painfully evident in the early part of the season, which was not helped by the questionable decision to leave trading till the last minute for the sake of a few extra quid, or indeed by the decision, again money motivated, to choose the cheaper Per Mertesacker over experienced Premier League campaigner Gary Cahill. I'm not saying Mertesacker is a bad player, in fact he could end up being rather good, but putting financial considerations before football ones created uncertainty within the team, which was a key destabilizing factor in the miserable start to the campaign. New players need time to adjust, particularly ones from other other countries and other cultures, so all our business should have been done much much earlier.

As it happens, the manager and the players did remarkably well to rescue a seemingly hopeless situation, propelling the team from relegation zone to top four by Christmas, and this in spite of a defensive injury crisis that saw the squad shorn of every one of its full back options. Through a mixture of hard work and good fortune, they managed to negotiate the pre-Christmas period relatively unscathed, though it was clear for all to see that the team was far too reliant on Robin van Persie up front and stretched to breaking point at the back.

Instead of capitalizing on this good fortune at the start of January - signing players to cover at the back and providing proven support for the the lone goal threat - Arsene thought it prudent to keep hold of his cash and instead rest his hopes on players returning from injury and to form. Well, Arsenal lost three and drew one of their Premier League matches in January, looking sloppy at the back and being ineffective in front of goal, so this gamble seems to have been a gigantic failure. The fact that Jack Wilshere now looks set to miss the rest of the season, or at the very least the vast majority of it, makes the decision not to strengthen even more questionable.

Arsene, I'm addressing you directly now: please stop basing your transfer strategy on the best possible outcome.

You should have learned by now that things are very unlikely to work out this way. You may be right that, when everyone is fit, you have numerous options at the back and in midfield, but when in living memory has this ever happened? This season we have had to rely far too heavily on players being played out of position and one player in particular, Aaron Ramsey, being played into the ground. This is a young player, returning from a broken leg, who, like Wilshere last season, has probably played more football than is healthy.

Your hand has been forced somewhat due to the unavailability of Wilshere and the permanently injured Abou Diaby, but putting too much faith in these and other players winning their battles with injury and returning to make a meaning contribution is at the root of the problem. You need to legislate for, if not the worst case scenario, then at the very least the possibility that things might get a bit worse than you anticipate. It's called insurance. You're right to point out that you can't have 17 full-backs on the books, but it appears, as evidenced by QPRs loan move for Milan's Taye Taiwo, that there were temporary options available.

The re-signing of a club legend and the FA Cup rescue job against Villa, which surprised as much as delighted, should not fool anyone. The returning players will add some solidity at the back, but the most pressing problem right now seems to be up top. Aside from Robin van Persie, who can be relied upon to score goals? The answer appears to be no-one.

I can't be bothered to do the maths, but suffice it to say that the goal return from Chamakh, Park, Walcott, Arshavin, Gervinho, Arteta and Ramsey has been paltry. Particularly worrying is the contribution from the so-called strikers, Park and Chamakh. Honestly, these two are simply not good enough for the Premier League. When you compare them to the back up options at United and Man City, or even Newcastle and Liverpool, it's quite embarrassing.

What I don't understand is, did Arsene ever think they were good enough? I guess with respect to Chamakh, he really did, and with good evidence. This was a player out of contract and coveted across Europe thanks to his Champions League displays for Bordeaux. Arsene actually pulled off quite a coup securing his services - although he is no doubt on massive wages (this is a point I will return to). Van Persie's early season injury troubles in 2010-2011 accelerated Chamakh's route to the first team, and at first this met with surprising success, but his decline since that initial glut has been Torres-esque. I don't doubt that he has some ability but he appears bereft of confidence and unable to find a way back to form. Cut your loses, Arsene.

The Park signing seemed much more of a gamble. He had a respectable record in France and notably was being pursued by Ligue 1 champions Lille, but he was certainly not a proven quantity, and he appeared from a fan's perspective to be a bargain basement option when a marquee signing was being yearned for. In Arsene We Trust, though. That was the mantra. This guy must be good otherwise we wouldn't have signed him. Right?

Wrong. Park is still yet to start a Premiership game. Arsene, given the failure of Chamakh, why did you sign another striker with question marks hanging over his head? Foolish. If van Persie gets injured, we are completely fucked. Then we definitely won't make the Champions League, and RvP will leave. You will then have Chamakh and Park as your two most experienced strikers. Sad face.

How has it come to this? You have really ballsed things up and you need to listen to the criticism. Listen to it. Accept it. Do something about it.

Stop taking gambles in areas that need improvement. Buy some proven quality. And be more ruthless. Stop defending poor performances. You should shield your players from unfair criticism but if your players play shit, say so. And stop rewarding mediocrity. If you didn't have players like Denilson on (reputedly) 60 grand a week, you would be able to compete for players like Juan Mata, and keep players like Samir Nasri (ahem, cunt). Sport is a meritocracy. You might not like it, but that is the way it is.

Come on, show some ambition. You cannot continue to charge fans the highest prices in the country and not invest that cash in improving the team. People won't stand for it. So please, sort it out.

Komplete Fcking Cnts

2009-05-22T13:10:00.005+01:00

Dear friends

I write to you now on matter of grave importance. Had you the means or desire to hear these words spoken from my lips you would sense already the solemnity which grips my person, for what I am about to tell you has rocked me to my soul.

On Tuesday last I was strolling gaily (that means happily, I ain’t a battyman) through the fens of Brixton Town, lapping up the sun and enjoying the hit from the rock I’d just devoured. My pristine moment was rudely interrupted by an urgent need to defecate and with no suitable containers handy I was forced to make an unplanned diversion into KFC.

Having relieved myself of my heavy burden – and having taken the time to mop the floor – I exited with haste, but not before glancing instinctively at the array of delectables on offer. It was then that the horror struck.

Right beneath ‘Bargain Bucket’ and just above ‘Variety Bucket’ were the words ‘Family Feast’. It cannot be. Could the Colonel really have the temerity, nay the bald-faced cheek, to endow his family-sized feast with name ‘Family Feast’?

The Colonel had in fact gone further than that. Not only has he called his family feast ‘Family Feast’, he has actually trademarked the name. In other words, I would be in breach of the law if I decided to name my own family-sized meal the ‘Family Feast’ and then advertise it to the public.

But surely this is only a technicality. KFC would not actually deploy a crack squad of menu spies to filter back information about small, family-owned businesses and potential breaches of trademark, would they? Actually, it would appear that that is exactly what they do. And they are not alone.

McDonald’s have been embroiled in a number of legal battles to ensure their treasured brand name is not exploited. In some cases, however, this has resulted in them challenging companies with legitimate claims to trademarked names, such as the case of Norman McDonald, who was forced to change the name of his Kentucky diner from "McDonald's Hamburgers" to "Norman McDonald's Hamburgers", so as to avoid confusing the American public. (I suppose this is easily done).

To be fair, although I do not necessarily support McDonald’s case, I can understand the reasoning, for Norman McDonald, having erected replica golden arches (which he was forced to take down), was clearly trying to cash in on the McDonald’s brand.

What possible reason could there be, however, for attempting to deprive a family business of an item name on their menu? Did KFC really think they were trying to hoodwink the public? Did they think they were making megabucks out of the remarkably unremarkable, ‘Family Feast’?

What’s more incredible is that this is the second time KFC has attempted to remove the name from the menu of an independent food outlet - and failed. Did they not learn anything the first time?

Buy, buy, buy, or it's bye, bye, bye

2009-05-11T18:24:00.003+01:00

Let’s make no bones about it. Sunday’s 4-1 home defeat against rivals Chelsea was a humiliation. Especially off the back of the 3-1 defeat by Manchester United in the Champions League Semis – also on home soil.

Such was the manner of those maulings that many people are wondering where Arsenal turn from here. They are still a ‘top four’ side but the evidence suggests they are closer to Villa and Everton than they are to the three teams sitting above them.

What has gone wrong and what, if anything, can be done to change it?

The answer to the first question is straightforward. Arsenal lack star quality in key areas of the pitch.

Accepting that his club would be unable to go toe-to-toe in the transfer market with the likes of Chelsea, Man U and increasingly Liverpool, Arsene Wenger has sought to nurture a team of superstars by recruiting hordes of talented youngsters.

This idea is all well and good, and the manager’s commitment to it is admirable, yet it is not clear whether such an exercise is compatible with success. There are a number of precedents for this kind of approach – Ajax, to name one – but these teams never had to compete in the billionaires’ playground that is the Premier League.

If Arsenal continue to rely on organic, year-on-year improvement, they will always be playing catch-up, because their main rivals will continue to add first class professionals to their already superior squads.

Man United were crowned domestic and European champions last season, yet they did not rest on their laurels. Ferguson knew there was room for improvement and promptly recruited the services of Dimitar Berbatov for around £30m.

Arsenal cannot compete at that level, but that does not mean they should not compete at all. At the same time as Man United were making concrete improvements to their glittering array of talent, Arsenal were actually waving goodbye to two of last seasons form players: Alex Hleb and Mathieu Flamini. Players were brought in, but none of them were proven performers.

Wenger must have been hoping for some sort of eureka moment, when his talented youngsters suddenly realised all that untapped potential, but this week’s dismal dénouement will surely have robbed him of this optimism.

This is a good thing. I think Wenger is slowly but surely coming round to the idea that he must mix experience with youth. He does not have to abandon his project wholesale, but he must now realise that young players improve much more rapidly when playing alongside top pros. You can have all the talent in the world but it is worthless if it has no direction or leadership.

The good news, as I’ve said before, is that not a lot is needed. Ideally we would purchase four new players, but even two key additions would make a huge difference. A leader at the back and a ball-winning centre-midfielder would improve Arsenal’s on-field fortunes dramatically. It’s fine to have players like Song, Denilson and Djourou as cover, but I think they’re still too young to be relied upon as first team players.

They have the talent but not the mental strength and I think too much pressure is being heaped on them. If the manager were to relieve this pressure by bringing quality first-teamers, I think you would also see an improvement in the performances of those mentioned. This is the situation with players like Jonny Evans and Danny Wellbeck at Man U.

It would also take pressure off the few ‘senior’ players at the club, like RvP, Fabregas and Adebayor. We might start seeing the best of them again.

Come down off that chair and put that noose back in the cupboard

2009-05-06T16:49:00.007+01:00

Last night was a bitterly disappointing one for Arsenal fans. Some perhaps went a little overboard in their efforts to take away the pain but even the saner among us found a hand inching towards the nearest bottle of lighter fluid.

It wasn’t defeat per se that was difficult to take. It was the manner of it. To get so hyped up for a contest, to convince oneself that victory was possible, only to have the dream ripped to pieces in little over 10 minutes. It was a depressing sight.

I had mentioned to friends before kick off that I’d be happy so long as we gave it a good go and kept it interesting until the last. To be fair to the lads, they started with the right attitude. The tempo was quick and the crowd, who were in good voice, were just beginning to sense something special.

It all changed, however, when Manyoo got the slice of luck that their first-leg superiority probably warranted.

Arsenal really needed to get the first goal to keep the tie interesting as a contest, yet they were undone not eight minutes in by a dreadfully unfortunate slip from the 19-year-old left back Kieran Gibbs, allowing Park Ji-Sung to steal in and lift the ball over Almunia.

This goal – against the run of play – was the best thing the United players could have hoped for. Not only did Arsenal now require three goals, they would also have to fight to reinvigorate the stunned supporters rendered mute by the concession of such an early goal.

This second challenge was made all but impossible by the Ronaldo freekick that followed three minutes later. Two-nil down. Game over. That was certainly the feeling with the Arsenal support. There just isn’t the belief anymore. Some might question the fans – especially the ones who felt it necessary to leave after the third went in – but it’s difficult to blame them.

How much investment do they put in – emotional and financial? A lot, is the answer. They are entitled to expect a little more in return. More effort. More quality. More passion. What the fans got last night was a ‘fuck you’. ‘Fuck you for caring’. How cruel a mistress football can be.

Of course everyone is now rolling out the familiar accusations: Arsenal have no experience; it was men against boys; Wenger needs to go. The truth is less dramatic.

Yes Arsenal were second best throughout. Yes this is not where we want to be. And yes Wenger needs to strengthen in the summer. But there is no need to panic. Our Kenyan friend perhaps jumped the gun and it is unfortunate that he won’t be around to regret his hasty decision.

First of all, it is an impressive achievement in itself to get to the semi-final of the Champions League, especially in the context of Arsenal’s ever-presence in the competition under Wenger and our appearance in the final three years ago.

Secondly, although we were comprehensively outplayed in the first leg, in the second leg we were extremely unfortunate to concede such an early goal. A bright start had indicated a victory might be on the cards, but the wind was taken from our sails by an early slip which resulted in a goal. I don’t blame Kieran Gibbs, it was an accident. Sadly it was an accident that could not have happened at a worse time.

This, however, brings me to my third point: injuries. Young Gibbs would not have been playing if first-choice left-back Gael Clichy had been fit. It’s fair to point out that title winning teams need good squad depth, but this season, at various points, and for a significant number or games, Arsenal have had to make do without Eduardo, Walcott, Rosicky, RvP, Fabregas, Diaby, Gallas, Clichy, Adebayor and Djourou. That’s one short of an entire team.

To make matters worse these injuries have tended to stack up in the most awkward of ways. This was most obvious when, during the same period as welcoming back the attacking trio of Fabregas, Walcott and Eduardo, we lost the defensive quartet of Almunia, Clichy, Gallas and Sagna. My intention here is not to moan, but simply to point out that things could have been different had lady luck had been a bit kinder with injuries.

The final reason to remain quietly optimistic is the state of the squad. Some players have clearly underperformed this season and the manager would do well to ship them out. I’m thinking mainly of Adebayor (lazy), Diaby (greedy) and Silvestre (shit). Denilson, Bendtner, Djourou and Song have not exactly set the world alight either but I have seen enough from them, given their young age, to think they’re worth holding on to.

Other than that the team is very good. I rate Fabregas, Theo, Nasri, Gallas, Clichy, Sagna, Toure, RvP and Almunia all pretty highly. If we can add to these the experience, energy and strength that we quite clearly need, then we will have a very competitive team next year, especially with the exceptionally talented Andrei Arshavin now involved.

This guy is pure class. He also has experience. Not only will he be instrumental in the coming seasons, but I suspect his eye-catching introduction to English football will have convinced Wenger that splashing out on top draw players – as long as they are the right players – can be worth every penny.

There are likely to be funds available during the summer thanks to the continued interest and investment from Kroenke and his rival Usmanov. Couple this with Wenger’s guile in the transfer market, and the undoubted ambition of the club’s new Managing Director Ivan Gazidis, and there is reason to believe a much needed overhaul will begin in the summer.

Given Wenger’s forlorn look and unusually introspective comments following last night’s defeat – and given also that the defeat effectively ended Arsenal’s involvement in meaningful competition this season, save perhaps an outside shot at stealing 3rd from Chelsea – there is a possibility that the recruitment drive has already begun.

Beware the axe wielding Welshman

2009-04-06T19:39:00.006+01:00

Writing a blog is a tricky business. I know many writers possess the enviable ability to eject the contents of their brains across the page with faultless eloquence, but for most of us there is more than a little finicking involved.

I’m worse than most. In fact, I’ve just wasted ten minutes of my life trying to decide between ‘finicking’ and ‘nitpicking’. Oh the irony. This anality is exactly the kind of destructive tendency you must avoid if you want to be a journalist. There simply isn’t time to weigh the merits of ‘old’ vs. ‘antiquated’, ‘free’ vs. ‘liberate’, ‘hooters’ vs. ‘norks’.

In case you were wondering, this isn’t the reason why most newspaper articles read like they’ve been written by a child. The short sentences and simple words are for the benefit of you, the reader.

Science has proven that the average person is intellectually equivalent to a cucumber, so hacks are trained to write in a way that would not flummox your typical salad vegetable. I’m exaggerating – slightly – but in all seriousness, copy for most newspapers is written to accommodate a reading age of about five.

Understandably, this takes some of the enjoyment out of writing. That’s why writing a blog is such a pleasure. I’m not interested in what I write being accessible to kids – or retards. I afford you guys a little more respect than that. If I were to launch, whimsically, into a lexiphanic discourse on the perils of unrestrained magniloquence, I’d be happy you were all still on board.

Yet it’s very difficult to keep such a discerning audience entertained. Stories about my collection of antique snorkels leave people in jaw dropped amazement for only so long. In order to achieve sustained levels of interest, I need to pull out the big guns. That’s right: I’m going to have to start cussing mans down.

The plain reality is that people love hearing other people mercilessly ripped to pieces by dark-hearted misanthropes. Charlie Brooker makes a living out of it – and he’s a ruddy genius. The problem is, you have to not give a flying funk about offending people. Unfortunately, I do give a funk. Every reader counts, you see.

In fact, there is a very real chance I’ve already shot myself in the foot by using the word ‘retards’. Some people get really upset about that kind of language. It’s hurtful, apparently. Such hyper-sensitivity is ridiculous to me, but given that I’m in no position to be turning people away I guess I should lay off the mentally challenged.

Other people you must be wary of insulting for fear of assassination by crazed fanatics. I speak, of course, of the Welsh. Those people just do not have a sense of humour about themselves. I can get away with saying that because I’m actually a little bit Welsh myself. It’s not something I like to advertise but it has saved me from being beheaded on more than one occasion.

Take out the Welsh and the retards and you’re not left with many options – even accounting for the huge crossover. I suppose the Eskimos are due for a fucking hammering. They’ve been getting off easy for years. So have the Swedish for that matter. I’ll have a think about it. It might be that I can just pick on celebrities everyone hates, like that pillock Ashley Cole.

Branded losers but looking for a strong finish

2009-03-26T17:35:00.003Z

I haven’t written anything for a while. Bad, I know, but I’ve been really busy.

Who am I kidding… you can see right through me. I’m like a pair of Russell Brand’s hermetically-sealed trousers – without the disconcerting bulge and encrusted melange of DNA. (Well, at least not today).

The reality is that I’ve been slack. Very slack. Slack in way that’s nothing like Mr Brand’s pants and rather more like his promiscuous behaviour.

Not that I think he’s improper. He does what most men, perhaps even most women, would like to do but can’t – either because of a distinct lack of game or because of a spineless acquiescence to cultural sensibilities.

Papers are filled with stories about Brand’s sexual ‘deviancy’ because it allows us to turn the table and claim he’s the one with the problem. Yet, from a loosely Darwinian perspective, Brand is a winner. More than that. He is winner of epic proportions.

Indeed if it wasn’t for contraceptive (and no doubt abortive) technology, Brand would have spawned an army of sesquipedalian cockneys large enough to conquer Western Europe.

Sesquipedalian. I love that word. It has a beautiful symmetry to it because it is an example of exactly what it describes. Whoever created it had a marvellous sense of humour.

Anyway, where was I? I was talking about Russell Brand, wasn’t I? Actually, I wasn’t really meaning to talk about Russell Brand - I just went off on a bit of a tangent. I was actually meaning to talk about football, because it’s been a while since I had a rant and since that time much has changed with the old Arsenal.

Last time I wrote about football I was in a bit of a depression about the spiralling misfortunes of the Gunners. It appeared then that Villa might establish an insurmountable lead in the race for fourth spot and that Arsenal might actually end up without a Champions League spot for the first time in over a decade, with dire implications for the club’s finances.

However, in the intervening weeks a remarkable turnaround has occurred. Some rich Arsenal form has coincided with some poor Villa form and a gap that could have stretched to eight points if Villa had held on to a 2-0 lead at home to Stoke is now 3 – in Arsenal’s favour!

There is still enough time to throw it away again but at present things are looking pretty rosy, especially with an FA Cup semi-final and a Champions League quarter-final to look forward to. Feasibly Arsenal could still end the season with two prestigious trophies and Champions League football for next season (though we would have this anyway if we were to win the CL).

The confidence and dynamism has started to flow back, even without the still injured Fabregas, Adebayor, Rosicky and the re-injured Walcott and Eduardo. The revival is so dramatic, and, indeed, so timely, that we may well curse the fact that our run of goalless draws put us just too far behind to catch up. We’re certainly not beyond catching Chelsea to nick third.

Come on lads, you can do it!

Kebabs are bad for you - apparently

2009-03-06T12:49:00.000Z

Scientists have revealed some startling new information. It’s being claimed as one of the breakthroughs of the decade, if not the century. Whisper it quietly, but it appears the good-old donner kebab might actually be doing us harm:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2009/mar/05/kebab-takeaways-food-safety

I know, I know, it’s hard to believe, but a study carried out by the Health Protection Agency (HPA) has found that 4.7% of salads and sauces served at kebab takeaways contain “unsatisfactory” levels of bacteria, and that 0.4% contain “unacceptable or potentially hazardous” levels, meaning the mouth-watering delights were, contrary to appearance, unfit for human consumption!

I’m sure donner-philes across the nation are finding this news almost as difficult to digest as yesterday’s dinner. Can the humble kebab, a staple of al fresco dining from Grimsby to Croydon, really be a threat to public health?

Of course it is you bone heads! How many hours and thousands of pounds have been wasted in “discovering” what my mottled toilet bowl could attest after one of my ill-advised but thankfully rare moonlit drop-ins to the local germ emporium?

I don’t think it will come as a shock to anyone who has ever been inside a kebab shop that they are, more often than not, a picture book of poor hygiene.

It is not surprising in the slightest that they operate like an oversized bacterial incubator, lovingly nurturing their microscopic clientele on a feast of heat-regulated chilli sauce, “fresh” salad and fine cuts of reconstituted meat of indeterminate origin.

The problem is, people who frequent kebab shops are not the greatest exponents of good judgement at the best of times. Even without added microbes, donner kebab remains a questionable dinner choice.

The vast majority of us only succumb to the temptation when we are hungry late at night and nothing else is open and our rational faculties have been eroded by similarly ill-advised levels of alcohol.

Indeed, we never seem to heed the health warnings relating to alcohol consumption so the chances of us ditching our drunken donner or burger or fried chicken for rye bread and organic hummus is fairly close to zero.

The point of the study is clearly to initiate a clampdown on the peddlers of poor hygiene, which is no doubt a good thing; I’m just not sure it will mean that much to the people it actually affects.

Criticism should motivate Adebayor to up his game

2009-02-21T10:07:00.006Z

Arsenal's struggles this term have fostered a growing sense of dissatisfaction among the support towards some of the team’s perceived underperformers. Nicklas Bendtner, Emmanuel Eboue and Emmanuel Adebayor have been the three biggest victims of the boo-boys this season.

In a recent incident, Adebayor was apparently subjected to a verbal attack at Lagos airport. The disgruntled fan is reported to have yelled: “You get paid £80,000 a week to put the ball in the back of the net and you’re still fucking rubbish. I pay good money for a season ticket to pay your wages.”

The full story can be read here:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article2259312.ece

The extent to which each player has earned this abuse differs. Eboue has been pretty poor, and his childish behaviour does nothing to help his cause; but in his defence he is clearly being played out of position.

Bendtner is another one whose attitude lets him down. At his best he is a great player, the problem is we rarely see his best. This is expected of a young player and does not in itself make him deserving of derision. What rankles with the fans is his apparent arrogance, which appears acutely unwarranted.

However, for all their flaws, it can at least be said of Eboue and Bendtner that they try hard, Bendtner especially. Adebayor, by contrast, seems to be living on passed glories.

Last season was a fruitful one for the towering Togolese. He stepped out of the shadows after the departure of T14 to plunder 30 goals in all competitions – a wonderful return.

It was off the back of this that he became a man in demand. Milan and Barcelona were among the clubs trying to prise him from Arsenal, with bids around the £25m mark being touted.

Arsenal, however, held firm. They demonstrated their intention to keep hold of their best players by offering the striker a sizeable salary increase to extend his contract. Despite the lure of two of Europe’s glamour clubs, Adebayor was persuaded to sign on.

This should have been springboard for another explosive season, yet it appears to onlookers that Adebayor has gone backwards. It’s not just that the goals have dried up, but the tireless running and harrying that was the basis of his success last term appears to have evaporated also.

It seems to many fans that Adebayor has fallen for his own hype. He is satisfied with his new contract and has simply stopped trying as hard. This has left some ruing the missed opportunity to cash-in on the striker during the summer, with media reports suggesting he may be shipped out this time round for significantly less money.

Of course hindsight is a wonderful thing. Although fans were upset by Adebayor’s apparent soliciting of new suitors to secure a bigger contract, there is no doubt that many were unhappy with the prospect of the club’s star striker being sold for the second successive year.

Arsenal were in serious danger of being labelled a selling club – the kiss of death for a team with ambitions to attract top players and challenge for honours. It was therefore imperative that Arsenal flex their muscle and resist the advances from Italy and Spain.

That the decision perhaps appears wrong in retrospect is irrelevant. The fact is that the Arsenal board had a very difficult decision to make.

In the end they decided to avoid the inevitable backlash that would have followed Adebayor’s departure. It is one thing to offload the aging legs of Vieira, Henry and Pires; quite another to be forced into the sale of player in his prime.

The only remedy for this situation is for Adebayor to pull his proverbial socks up. He needs to stop taking his place in the side for granted and show again why he has drawn the gaze of the likes of Milan. If he does this he will silence the critics and go some way to helping Arsenal return to the top four.

Eduardo’s return highlights Arsenal’s problem

2009-02-19T17:36:00.002Z

The news is that Eduardo has suffered a setback in his return from injury. Thankfully it’s not directly related to the horrific break he sustained almost a year ago but the pulled hamstring is expected to keep him out for another couple of weeks.

Talking to Arsenal TV Online on Thursday, manager Arsène Wenger said these types of setbacks are to be expected.

“Nobody knows how it happened,” he said, “but I knew straight away after the game it would be a two-week job. It is nothing like he had before but I do know that little set-backs like this are part of being nine months out.

“After that long out, nobody plays six months on the trot. It is impossible.”

That will not change the fact that this is a blow to Arsenal. The dynamic brand of football that has become a hallmark of Arsène Wenger’s team has been missing of late, yet it appeared to have returned along with the reintroduction of Eduardo in Monday night’s rescheduled FA Cup fourth round replay against Cardiff.

His smart link up play and off-the-ball running opened up the away team’s defences again and again, and showed everyone exactly what the team had been missing since that fateful day in Birmingham.

Indeed his impact was such that it made me wonder how the team might have fared if the terrible injury had never occurred. Might Arsenal have won the league last year? The question is academic, but there’s every possibility.

Some people will argue, however, that injuries are part and parcel of the game and that a squad needs to be able to cope with them. Indeed I often hear it said these days that it’s the team with the best squad that wins the league. Man United being a case in point.

There is a large dollop of truth in this argument, but what it fails to take account of is the fact that a top football team is like a well-oiled engine.

You get the desired result only if all the constituent parts are operational. If a part is damaged, a skilled mechanic may be able to find a temporary solution, but the engine will only return to full working order if the broken part is either replaced or fixed.

It is practically impossible to have a direct replacement for every player in the team. Most managers could not afford it and, even if they could, there would be the added problem of having to rotate to keep players happy.

Having a good squad therefore means having a good balance of players that can deputise for each other on a short-term basis. With long-term injuries, however, the only ways to restore equilibrium are to purchase a direct replacement or wait until the injured player returns.

Arsène Wenger parted with significant funds to bring Eduardo to the Emirates to perform a specific and crucial role in his team. When Eduardo got injured, his team suffered a breach that it was near impossible to repair.

Not having the funds to replace the player, Wenger was forced to make do with an unconvincing patch-up job until this week. Unsurprisingly this has had a massive impact on the fortunes of his team.

Much has been made of Arsenal’s poor form this term, but it is easily overlooked just how beset by injury the squad has been.

Another key figure out for over a year has been Tomas Rosicky. ‘The Little Mozart’ so nicknamed has been in and out of the team with injuries so often that people forget just how big a loss he is, yet we’re talking here about the captain of the Czech Republic.

The injury woes suffered by Robin van Persie in past seasons are well known. Thankfully, this season, he seems okay, yet the club have instead been hit by long-term injuries to Theo Walcott and Cesc Fabregas. To compound the situation, the injuries seem to be unduly concentrated on the team’s attacking options.

You can say a title-winning manager needs a squad that can cope with injuries, but no manager can possibly legislate for the number of injuries Arsenal have had all at the same time.

The extent of the problem is highlighted by the fact that when the injured return, Arsène Wenger will have to pick from an attacking line-up of Van Persie, Adebayor, Eduardo, Bendtner, Vela, Rosicky, Walcott, Fabregas, Arshavin and Nasri. That’s one short of an entire team.

I’m just hoping the manager get’s the opportunity before the season is out.

Writer's bollock

2009-02-16T17:38:00.004Z

Hi guys! So look, here’s the deal. I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with something good to write. It’s been hard going.

There’s always the failsafe formula: a drawn-out diatribe about the increasingly un-mighty Arsenal.

Scribing something with genuine insight and originality is rare, but knocking out the kind of throwaway tat you’d think twice about using to wipe your arse is as easy as… well… wiping your arse.

It’s the journalistic equivalent of heading down the pub with the lads, sinking ten pints and putting the brain on autopilot. I wonder what percentage of pub-based interactions begin with the hook: so, did you see the match? It’s a straightforward icebreaker. It puts men at ease because there’s just always more worthless drivel you can spout about football.

Sadly, however, there is only so much one can read, which is why I am attempting to free myself from the stifling embrace of football chatter. But it’s hard. I feel lost and emasculated. I’m kicking frantically but I’m barely able to keep my head above water.

Death is hastened by the downward thrusts of those kicking alongside me. Natural selection at its cruel best. To make matters worse, some make it look easy. Effortlessly they rise, their winged silhouettes just visible against the brilliant sunlight. Every beat lifts them further from the dead and dying.

Fjhdeoffeujdefwui9j pujrgfujro9ujre ujwqu9y549uf. What the… Oh… I’m sorry. It appears I stopped writing for a second and involuntarily started beating myself about the head with my keyboard. Where was I? Ah, yes, writing.

I don’t know why, but I do sometimes find it really difficult write. It’s not that I have difficulty finding the words to express myself, I just don’t think I have anything worth saying. Perhaps I’m being harsh on myself – or perhaps I do in fact lead a life so boring that I can’t even be bothered to fin…

The Demise of Arsenal?

2009-02-09T17:34:00.003Z

The myriad football forums and message boards on the internet do not make pleasant reading for Arsenal fans. With the exception of a few doughty souls, those with the will to pass comment speak in unison: Arsenal are a team on the slide.

Our best days are behind us, we are told. Our team is too young. Our new stadium has crippled us financially making us unable to compete in the transfer market.

We are, apparently, no longer a top team. We will soon be relegated to a meagre existence of UEFA Cup football, unable to gorge on the luxuriant delights served on Europe’s top table. In our place will be everyone’s new favourite second team: Aston Villa.

Villa are loved almost as much as Arsenal are despised. Crudely, this is because Aston Villa, unlike Arsenal, have the celebrated “English core”. You see, you can’t win anything with pampered foreign pansies. Some people want nothing more than to see the stoic English lionhearts put one over the cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

What interests me is whether the doom-mongers and gleeful opposition fans are right? How much of the talk can be put down to sledging tactics, media hyperbole and latent xenophobia, and how much is sound judgement based on good evidence?

Honestly, I think there’s little of substance in all the chatter.

Clearly, Arsenal have had a poor season. Their underachievement is marked against a previous season in which the club flirted with success and is highlighted still further by the strides made my Villa in the current campaign.

Much of this poor form can be attributed to bad luck with injuries. To be without four key attacking outlets – Rosicky, Fabregas, Walcott and Eduardo – for significant lengths of time is something the manager could not legislate for.

This lack of potency is evidenced by a worrying goal drought and partly explains the club’s decision to depart from the established transfer strategy and spend big on the relatively ancient Andrei Arshavin.

In addition to the unforeseen problems, there are problems that Wenger has brought on himself. Even my pet mole could see that last season's progress was founded largely on the superb midfield combination of Fabregas and Flamini… or Fabini… or Flabregas.

Flamini’s tireless running and tackling gave Fabregas the time and space to work his magic. Given the opportunity to get his head up, Fabregas was able to pick out the willing runs of Adebayor and Eduardo time and time again. The supply line was so bountiful that the naturally profligate Adebayor was able to plunder 30 goals.

Wenger clearly did not expect Flamini to leave – I’m sure he would have held on to Diarra otherwise. Yet once it became clear that Flamini was to accept the advances of Milan, Wenger should have made it his number one priority to find a suitable replacement.

If reports are to be believed, Wenger did indeed try to find a successor in the form of either Gokhan Inler or Xabi Alonso. However he made it clear that he would not pay over the odds for his man, assuring us that he had confidence in the players already at the club to rise to the challenge.

Though he would never admit it, that confidence appears to have been misplaced. Perhaps in contrast to the majority, I actually think Diaby and Denilson – the two players most frequently deployed in defensive midfield this season – are both good players. In fact, I’ve seen enough to think they have the potential to be great players.

That said, I don’t think they are very good defensive midfielders. Denilson does not have the physicality to defend and Diaby does not have the inclination. Had Wenger purchased the right kind of player to partner Cesc, the season may have been different.

Wenger would also have done well to purchase a real battering ram of a defender. Like good centre-mid partnerships, a good defensive pairing will compliment each other's talents. One to get to every first ball and one to mop up and bring the ball out of defence. Arsenal have several players who fit into the second mould but none who fit into the first.

Given these problems, why do I think the prognostications of demise are premature?

Well, simply, because the problems Arsenal have are easily remedied. There is clearly a lot of talent, both current and future. All that is needed are a number of choice acquisitions in the positions already mentioned. Given what the team nearly achieved last season, there is no reason to think they cannot do one better once the deficiencies are properly addressed.

The team may be hard pushed to make the Champions League this season given Villa’s relentless form, but Villa’s form must be seen for exactly what it is: form.

Things can change very quickly in football and there’s no reason to think Villa have what it takes to permanently deprive Arsenal of their top four status. Class, as they say, is permanent, and people are quick to dismiss the fact that Arsenal’s success is build on years of experience in the top echelons of the league.

Financially too the club is extremely well managed. The new stadium may have required a tightening of the belt, but the loan repayments are manageable. Just like a homeowner repaying a mortgage, Arsenal still have disposable income. What is more, this is income generated by the club itself and not gifted by a wealthy benefactor.

Unlike like Leeds, the club’s business model is not dependent on Champions League qualification. Although the loss of the Champions League revenue would be harmful, it would not be mortal.

People have suggested the greatest danger would not be loss of income but the loss of prestige and the loss of players that would result in failure to reach Europe’s premier club competition. There is always this possibility, but I’m confident that Arsenal’s players would choose to stay.

Firstly, they would shoulder some of the blame for the club’s failure to qualify and I think professional pride would motivate them to stay and put the record straight.

Secondly, the majority of Arsenal’s players are young enough that a season out of the Champions League would not be a disaster. If the team failed to qualify for successive seasons, the situation would change.

There are recent precedents in the form of Bayern Munich and AC Milan that a single season without Champions League is not fatal. Indeed, Bayern Munich successfully recruited Franck Ribery and Luca Toni without the lure of Champions League football and Milan captured both Flamini and Ronaldinho.

If Arsenal continue to adopt a long-term prudential strategy there is no reason to think they will go the way of Leeds and every reason to think that they will resist the challenge from below and get back to challenging for domestic and European honours.

Sue Barker fellating a dolphin...

2009-02-08T17:12:00.002Z

I’m not a fan of cannabis. It just doesn’t really do it for me. I have had plenty of good times after hitting up the cheeba, but these days, more often than not, the effect is unwelcome.

I’m not prone to involuntary facial contortions and maniacal flailing of the limbs whilst babbling uncontrollably about the people who are quite clearly out to get me, but I do feel as though the slight heady feeling from a few puffs of the funky stuff does not adequately compensate for the self-loathing and crushing paranoia.

That being said, I appreciate that this is merely my personal experience. Some people clearly enjoy the effects of "blazing the chronic". I don’t presume to tell these people how they ought to live – especially as the pastime has minimal impact on me and everyone else.

The sanctimonious finger-pointers who get high on a homegrown strain of holier-than-thou smuggery while blowing caustic smoke in the faces of the less pious are an odious bunch of self-congratulatory hate-pushers. Keep your damn noses out of other people’s business!

It is with this in mind that I address the recent scandal over Michael Phelps. Here is a man who is considered a national hero for what he did in Beijing.

I think perhaps the media may have gone a tad overboard with the eulogising – the BBC’s coverage stopped just short of Sue Barker openly fellating Phelps as Stevie Cram massaged his cetacean sack to bursting point. Yet whichever way you looked at it, eight gold medals in a single Olympic Games is an incredible achievement.

Should a man who has achieved so much be so readily castigated for so minor an indiscretion? Is it even an indiscretion? Setting aside the legal issues, surely Michael Phelps deserves to unwind in whichever way he sees fit – he’s earned the right.

Of course, the reason for people’s indignation is exactly because Phelps is a national hero. He is an American poster boy, an embodiment of the way America views itself. His story illustrates what can be achieved through hard work and determination – the quintessential American Dream.

But just as his successes are America’s successes, so his ‘failure’ is America’s failure. Is this fair? No, of course not, but that’s reality. Phelps has learned the hard way that with his status as an American idol comes the unrealistic – perhaps unattainable – expectation of moral piety.

Stupid people

2009-02-05T17:56:00.000Z

Turning away from the endless and rather tiresome rants about football, I want to pick up on a point raised by my friend and erstwhile class-mate Charlie, in his fantabuluously well scripted blog charlie farlie's boozy thursdays (http://boozythursdays.blogspot.com/).

In his There’s no business like Snow Business entry from February 4th, he talks, among other things, about the crippling negativity that seems to have infected our nation.

On a day in which London’s children – and many of its “adults”, such as me – awoke spellbound, desperate to cling to the one outpost of joy amid the procession of gloom that has swept over this country in recent months, the main news items were all about disgruntled commuters who couldn’t get to work and the damage that would be done to our already ailing economy.

This is to be expected. Plainly, disaster sells. What annoyed me, however, as Charlie points out, is how stupid some people are.

I heard one woman say on the Ten O’clock News: “It’s ridiculous, it’s like we’re living in a third world country.”

No it’s not, you insufferable ignoramus. What’s the point in having expensive contingency plans for something that very rarely happens? It’d be like carrying round a fully-functional bionic limb in your handbag just in case your leg decides to fall off.

Of course it’s frustrating to be thwarted by factors outside of ones control, but surely there are better things to be annoyed about than having to take a day off work.

Arshavin' a laugh?

2009-02-05T16:42:00.000Z

On Sunday night, as Mother Nature unfurled her wondrous white robe over our nation’s capital, grinding it to an abrupt halt; a small part of North London was a hive of activity, frantically trying to conclude the most protracted transfer saga in the history of Arsenal Football Club.

Finally, on Tuesday February 3rd, after a month of hot air and unrelenting media attention, and almost 24 hours after the transfer deadline had passed, the marathon game of brinkmanship was over. Arsenal announced they had signed Andrei Arshavin from Zenit St Petersburg.

The question is, does it represent a sensible piece of business?

Had you asked me the question six or so weeks ago, I might have been inclined to say no. Limited funds mean Arsenal must prioritise, and, although Arshavin is an excellent player, our main problems six weeks ago were most certainly defensive.

To be sure, this deficiency still exists. We still require a midfield metronome to replace the tireless Mathieu Flamini – and we could also do with another top centre back. However, these are no longer the priority.

Over the past month and a half, the biggest threat to our top-four status has changed from being our defensive ineptitude to an offensive impotence.

This is not just about scoring goals, which is linked to confidence and can sometimes be a problem. Now, worryingly, we struggle even to create chances. For a team that used to be the most dynamic in the league, this is a major worry.

To be fair, a lot of it is simply bad luck. How would other teams fare without the likes of Rosicky, Walcott, Fabregas, Eduardo and now Diaby? Would Liverpool have reached the league summit without Gerrard, Alonso and Riera? One doubts it.

However, this doesn’t change the position we are in now. We’re failing to make ground on Aston Villa because we’re not able to break down inferior opposition. We need to start making chances and scoring goals, and in the absence of those mentioned above, Arshavin looks a good bet.

People have questioned what will happen when everyone comes back, but I’d suggest that having a selection problem like that is a good problem to have. It keeps everyone on their toes. Some players – most obviously Adebayor – could do with having to look over their shoulder every so often.

This season is pretty much a write-off, but next season, if we strengthen in the other areas noted, looks promising.

Although we have spent significantly on Arshavin, the deal represents very good value for money, and there should still be money in the bank for some more typical Wenger buys during the summer. This should be made easier with the installation of new Chief Exec Ivan Gazidis.

Back in the game

2009-02-05T12:22:00.000Z

I've been away from the blogging for a while on account of my single-minded pursuit of NCTJ glory. Having now completed exams and simply awaiting results, I am left with the even more miserable prospect of having to find a job.

This isn't going particularly well at present but at least I can allay the boredom by waxing lyrical about stuff that no-one has any interest in reading! Great!

Ebooing hints at much larger issue

2008-12-12T11:45:00.000Z

This whole thing is really quite a thorny issue. It’s never nice to boo someone and, I have to say, I felt so sorry for Eboue watching him trudge off to the chorus cheers that greeted his substitution. He looked on the verge of tears.

That said, he does himself absolutely no favours. Cristiano Ronaldo gets away with being an obnoxious little **** because he’s an amazing player, however even amongst United fans he’s far from being a fans’ favourite. In fact, just the other day a friend was telling me that he and his son – both United fans – had ‘gone off’ Ronaldo.

If even the great Ronaldo can’t command the unquestioned adulation of the crowd, what hope for poor old Eboue? If Ronaldo, suddenly, unbelievably, started playing consistently poorly – as poorly as Eboue – it wouldn’t be long before the United faithful told him exactly what they thought of his diving, whinging and overall petulance.

For the record, I actually don’t think Eboue is that bad a player. He’s quick, he’s strong, he’s got decent control and I’ve often been surprised (in a good way) by his dribbling abilities. Lest we forget, it was only a few seasons ago that he was being talked about as the best right back in the country. I distinctly remember that he was an absolute must for every fantasy football team.

In my opinion he is still capable of performing well as a right wing-back, and should be used as such, but for what it’s worth, I don’t think he’ll be around for much longer. He has not really got the ability or the temperament to turn the situation around for himself. He’ll be looking for an exit in January.

Clearly, though, the booing was much bigger than Eboue. It was about a crowd venting its frustration about having to pay top dollar week in, week out, to see a team consistently underperform, against ‘inferior’ opposition, and fail to address the situation by not dipping into the reputedly rather healthy war chest to buy some desperately needed reinforcements.

It was about a manager who, though a genius, is, like so many others, a flawed example of his craft. Wenger has become so mentally and emotionally invested in his project that he now fails to see what seems obvious to those looking in. The wood for the trees, you might say.

Captain Fabulous may herald turn in fortunes

2008-12-02T10:10:00.000Z

I was supposed to have written something for Arsenal-Land last Monday, but a combination of extra college work, excessive play and my second job – moonlighting as a body double for David Beckham – forced me to admit defeat.

What I failed to consider at the time was the huge difference in tone delaying my regular contribution would have. After an away day at the once impregnable Stamford Bridge, I was preparing myself to inject yet more gloom into the bloated carcass of despair that has hovered menacingly above the Emirates in recent weeks.

What I got, in case I’d forgotten, was the perfect illustration of a why a week is such a long time in football. A vital, if unconvincing, victory to book a place in the knockout stages of the Champion’s League, and an unbelievable turnaround from a goal down to beat Chelsea, has gone some way to relieving the disheartening prospect of being out of the title race before Christmas.

There can be no question that Arsenal benefitted from some contentious refereeing decisions (it makes a change!) but the players also deserve immense credit. After the previous week’s humiliating capitulation against Man City, you would have been hard pressed to find a single person – Arsenal fan or otherwise – who thought a second half comeback against Chelsea was a realistic possibility.

What was amazing – dodgy linesman aside – was that once Arsenal got the equaliser, they suddenly looked like a team reborn. Certainly they looked the more likely winners.

Van Persie’s second came only three minutes after his first and thereafter priority shifted to defence and keeping the Premier League’s leading scorers at bay for the remaining half-hour.

Such a situation usually brings out the worst in us, but, bizarrely, the nervy, error strewn panic that tends to characterise an Arsenal rearguard performance never materialised. This may have had something to do with Chelsea’s strange but welcome loss of confidence, but there are also signs that the ascension of Fabregas to Club captain is having a galvanising effect.

We must not get ahead of ourselves – we have only seen two games and false dawns have been a feature of this season – but there are some causes for optimism. Not least has been the response of the deposed William Gallas and the partnership he looks capable of forming with the hitherto underappreciated Johan Djourou. I was also impressed with the midfield bite injected by Alex Song.

Another encouraging sign was the way Van Persie took his goals and the scenes of jubilation that followed. It suggests there is still plenty of confidence, belief and desire within the camp. What they must do now is build on this result starting at Burnley on Tuesday night and continuing at home against Wigan next weekend. Following this win up with a defeat as they did after the Man United victory would be terminal.

A few good results, however, should not blind us to the very real problems Arsenal still have. I believe the manager would be committing a grave error if he again declines the option to buy in January. There is enough to build on at Arsenal, but build he must.

Reject faith; embrace realism

2008-11-02T17:43:00.001Z

I’m absolutely furious. I’m also incredibly disappointed and depressed. A six point deficit is in no way insurmountable, yet the defeat against Stoke has done something to me. It has extinguished any lingering hope I had that our team is/was capable of winning the Premier League title.

No-one doubts the intermittent quality of Arsenal’s play, but the team simply does not have the required balance between attack and defence, panache and pragmatism, exuberance and maturity, to mount a credible league campaign.

There will be many more mouth-watering displays before the season is out, but these will be punctuated by a sufficient number of spineless no-shows to ensure that we again finish outside the top two or three.

Why so glum? you may ask. Where’s the faith? Well, I have to say, I don’t really do faith – I leave that to religious zealots and the hopelessly deluded. Technically I’m an agnostic, but practically speaking I’m an atheist. When all of my senses tell me one thing, I tend not to believe the opposite. I want to believe we can win the Premiership, but all my good sense convinces me otherwise.

We clearly have a problem in defence and there is no reason, other than blind faith, to believe this will change. Everything I’ve seen thus far tells me that without fresh personnel, Arsenal will continue to struggle defensively. Our manager appears to believe it is only a lack of concentration that has cost us, but this only begs the question: why? Do the players not care?

It is hard to imagine any of the other teams in the top four switching off so spectacularly as to concede a two goal lead in the final five minutes of a game. Indeed, our shortfall this season has been so pronounced that there is even the suggestion that the top four is becoming a top three.

Of course we are better than the middle tier of teams, but are we still entitled to place ourselves alongside Man U, Chelsea and arguably even Liverpool? As much as it pains me to say, I don’t think we can. We are looked upon as a soft touch and we are no longer feared away from our home turf. The fact that Fulham, Hull and Stoke can all say they’ve beaten the Mighty Arsenal suggests we’re not so mighty after all.

The only words of sanguinity I can offer are that I don’t think we are far away from re-establishing parity. The team does not require a massive overhaul; the nucleus of a great team is there. To make the step up the manager need only invest in three key areas: goalkeeping, central defence and defensive midfield.

These problem-areas are hackneyed topics of conversation within the Arsenal fraternity, and it says everything about the manager’s unshakable faith in his own admirable yet perhaps unworkable philosophy that we are still talking about it. Hopefully this latest defeat will have convinced even Arsene that something must be done in January; otherwise we may see something far worse than just poor results.

My greatest fear is if the ambition of certain players is not backed up with hard investment, the promising crop that Wenger has nurtured may start to fracture. It would be a great shame for Arsenal and for football generally if the Fabregas Generation never fulfilled its undoubted potential. Please, Arsene, don’t let this happen. Don’t let blind faith prove our undoing.

Economics is high on the agenda but what about defence?

2008-10-17T11:08:00.000+01:00

For those of us with a vested interest in the Premiership, the international hiatus is, more often than not, an unwanted distraction.

Teams in form are unlikely to welcome anything that risks upsetting the stride pattern, whilst those with something to prove are usually keen to get back in the saddle as soon as possible.

The international break also creates a headache for columnists concerned primarily with club football. It has been over a week since the 1-1 draw away to Sunderland and most of the salient issues regarding the team’s current form have been discussed ad nauseum.

What is clear about Arsenal this season is that they are the most unpredictable team in the league. The condition borders on schizophrenia. Two laudable victories in the traditionally hostile north-west were followed by that unbelievable home defeat to Hull City.

I’m sure that result had many people questioning their hearing: “sorry, did you just say ‘Arsenal 1 Hull 2’?” Credit to Hull, they deserved it. They wanted it more, as the gaffer had to admit.

The admission was worrying. Did the lads not learn anything about hunger and application from last season’s late collapse?

We have to accept a certain number of unstoppable, Geovanni-esque wonder-strikes, and the odd freak result, but there should be no excuse for not giving 100 percent in a home tie against Hull City – or anyone else.

Against Sunderland a week later, after a solid Champions League victory mid-week, the team had the opportunity to bounce back from their humbling and nip any negative murmurings in the bud. They signally failed to do this.

We might say we were unlucky to have a goal erroneously chalked-off, and it is true that Grant Leadbitter’s thunderbolt was another Geovanni moment. Yet the truth is that we should not be putting ourselves in situations where a flash of brilliance could cost us vital points.

Too often we squander opportunities and fail to make the most of our customary monopoly of possession. This is asking for trouble – especially when the only predictable thing about our performances has been our defensive ineptitude. Even in games where the final result has been convincing, our defending has been anything but.

Having spoken with friends and having seen the comments on numerous forums, I know I’m not alone in thinking our defence is in urgent need of reinforcements. The established partnership of Gallas and Toure not only lacks height, it also appears to lack the mutual understanding on which a successful defence is based.

What is required – as soon as possible (i.e. January) – is a new battering-ram of a centre-back. Given Arsene’s famed powers of acquisition this should not be too hard to accomplish.

He should also have no trouble – assuming the new managing director is finally in place to assist him in the transfer market – acquiring replacements for the perpetually infirmed Rosicky and the long since departed Flamini. Without investment in these key areas I expect our erratic form to continue.

Of course, we must take into account the potential effects of the prevailing economic conditions on the football transfer market. Football’s cash bubble seemed unaffected by the early stages of the economic downturn during the last transfer window, but it is unclear what effect the subsequent deepening of the crisis will have.

In a depressed market, clubs should be less quick to spend; yet it is also likely that the valuations of players will fall back to more sensible and sustainable levels. This may appeal to Arsenal’s thrifty manager, who is notoriously reluctant to pay over the odds. Indeed it may be the time when the club finally reaps the benefits of its commitment to a sustainable business model.

To buy or not to buy? Will Wenger’s faith prove his undoing?

2008-09-02T15:58:00.000+01:00

It may have passed you by, but on transfer deadline day Arsenal secured two signings: teenagers Kieran Gibbs and Mark Randall both put pen to paper on improved contracts with the Club.

Of course, these were not the signings that many of us imagined or indeed hoped for when, just weeks ago, Wenger made it clear he would be attempting to enlist the services of a top-class defensive midfielder to fill the void left by the departures of Flamini, Gilberto and Diarra in quick succession.

Since those assurances were made, however, there have been statements designed to prepare us for the eventuality of no new additions, the most recent coming in the wake of the Fulham defeat when Wenger said: “What I hate the most is when you have a bad game, the only resource is to buy.”

I have to say, I couldn’t agree more – it sickens me the way that certain teams behave. Rafa Benitez should be made aware that sometimes the onus is on the manager to get the best out of the players he has brought in. After all, no one forced him to buy Aurelio, Pennant, Bellamy, Crouch, Josemi, Voronin…

That said, I do think our squad is too thin. I believe Wenger when he says “we have the quality” and I’m not demanding that we go out and spend £30m on a single player, but the reality is that we only have one fit defensive foil for Cesc: the young, talented, but rather inconsistent, Denilson.

There was a rousing piece by James Lawton in The Independent a few days ago in which he exulted in the idealism of Arsène Wenger:

“You can say that Wenger is on some fantasy trip of his own. Or you can assert, as the belief is here, that what he promises is something that makes supporting a football club truly worthwhile. It is because Wenger’s club is not about seeing who can spend the most, and stockpiling all available talent, but developing a group of players who he believes will grow up before our fascinated eyes, and into something quite splendid and bold.”

I agree with Lawton, and I’m immensely proud and happy to be a fan of Arsenal and of our brilliant, quixotic manager. But does that make it wrong for me to think that we ought to have strengthened when we had the opportunity?

Back in January I supported the manager’s decision not to buy, believing that our superior teamwork and togetherness would see us through. That fantasy perished on the cold rocks of realism. It is a beautiful thing to be idealistic and stick to one’s principles, but there must surely be room for pragmatism and compromise.

The brilliant performance against Newcastle does not obliterate from the memory the shambolic display against Fulham. Against Newcastle we were reminded of the highs this team are capable of, but the Fulham game should stand as a stark reminder of its continued frailties.

Despite his consistent declarations of faith, recent comments suggest Wenger is keen to strengthen:

“Last year it was at midnight – and we are ready to stay up all night this time if it is needed… If we find the right players we will do it – one or two.”

The fact that the last few hours of the transfer window proved fruitless suggests Wenger was unable to find the players he wanted or – as is more likely – find them at the right price.

Reports indicate we were in for Alonso, Inler or Veloso, as well as a season-long loan deal for Real’s German centre-half Christoph Metzelder. The combative defender and any one of the midfielders would have been ideal acquisitions, yet we ended up with nothing. It annoys me to think that we may have missed out because of a dispute over a few million.

Perhaps I simply do not have the courage of my convictions – an accusation that cannot be levelled at Arsène Wenger. I just hope his unswerving faith is vindicated come the end of the season.

Buying is not always the answer – but sometimes it is

2008-08-27T11:56:00.001+01:00

After the pitiful 1-0 reverse against Fulham on Saturday, Arsène Wenger offered a response that will be infuriatingly familiar to Arsenal fans: “When you lose a game the solution is not always to buy.”

The great man is right, of course. It would be ridiculous to wade into the transfer market every time you suffered a defeat. Not only would it pull the carpet of confidence from under your current players, it would also display a complete lack of understanding that all teams occasionally have an off-day.

The worrying thing about Wenger’s statement is that it seems to be preparing us all for yet another underproductive transfer window. It wasn’t long ago that Wenger gave assurances that he would definitely be bringing in a quality, preferably experienced midfielder to replace the departed Mathieu Flamini and share the burden of expectation with the over-relied upon Cesc Fabregas. Now it looks as if he is attempting to backtrack on this promise.

It is not clear whether the change in stance represents a change of opinion about the need for a new player, a change in the Club’s financial position, or a strategy designed to disguise the lack of suitable and available players. My instinct tells me it is the last of the three. There is no reason to suppose any change to the Club’s finances and there has been little on the pitch to convince the manager that the team can cope without a new addition. The likelihood is, therefore, that Wenger has been unable to find “the right player at the right price” – a rule he rarely, if ever, considers breaking.

For Wenger, it is better to buy no-one than to buy the wrong one. This is undoubtedly a wise approach, but it becomes a problem when your criteria for what makes someone right are too exacting. Wenger feels he has to study every aspect of a player’s game before he parts with significant sums. This explains his success rate with respect to new signings, but it also explains the relative inactivity of Arsenal FC compared to her main rivals.

Wenger hates to “panic buy”, but the reality is that when time begins to run out in the transfer window, there is little option but to act quickly. Scouring for the very best deal money can buy invariably leaves one empty-handed, and it is for this reason that Arsenal are likely to begin September with the very same squad they have at present.

This will worry and annoy Arsenal fans because it has been all too predictable – and avoidable. It has been apparent since the departures of Flamini, Gilberto and Hleb that the squad needed quality replacements, but those have not materialised. The players that have come in have huge potential but they are unlikely to step up to the plate this season.

Sometimes, Arsène, the answer is not to buy. However, sometimes it is.

Wimbledon Final: Federer-Nadal

2008-07-08T12:38:00.000+01:00

Wimbledon’s Men’s Singles final between World Number 1 Roger Federer and World Number 2 Rafael Nadal was one of the all time great matches. Was it the best ever? It is arguable. It is difficult, certainly, to recall another match with tension, drama, desire and finesse in such spectacular abundance.

Two points summed up the match quite beautifully: Nadal’s running forehand pass down the line to bring up his second championship point from 6 all in the fourth set tiebreak and Federer’s equally astonishing backhand pass down the line to restore parity.

Federer went on to clinch the tiebreak 10-8 to complete a remarkable comeback. He had been 2 sets to love down after Nadal had started the game in typically barnstorming fashion. At three games all in the third, with Fed 0-40 down on serve, it looked for all the world as though his astonishing Wimbledon run would finally come to an end.

Of course, top-class sport is rarely that straightforward, and Federer wouldn’t be Federer if he wasn’t capable of the extraordinary. He drew on all his experience to battle back from the brink and then, at 4-4 in the third, with Fed serving at deuce, the rain came. It was a welcome break for Federer, who could now take a timeout to plot his comeback. With Nadal’s serve looking virtually impenetrable, Fed knew his best option was to hang on in there and hope he could nick the set on the tiebreak. This he did, and it was feat he repeated magnificently in the fourth.

I have described the two points that illustrated so perfectly the calibre of the two men on view. What I haven’t touched on, however, is that Nadal had being serving at 5-2. Two points for victory with two serves to come. Again, Fed was staring down the barrel – again, he refused to buckle. Any doubts about the strength of will of the defending champion evaporated at that moment. Questions over whether after 5 straight titles he still had the hunger were firmly dispelled.

The most miraculous thing of the entire match, however, was Nadal’s relentless pursuit of victory. Many a player would have been mentally broken by the concession of a 2 set lead, especially to the 5 times defending champion. Despite acknowledging that Nadal had remained the better player throughout, I was concerned that Fed would have the psychological in the final set given his miraculous recovery.

None of it. Nadal always looked the more likely to break and at 7 games all he deservedly achieved it. He would have been under enormous pressure having to serve out the match, but he managed to do so with minimal fuss.

Boris Becker described the moment as a “changing of the guard.” Certainly it is surely only a matter of time before the computer recognises a new World Number 1 for the first time since February 2^nd 2004, but does this represent something more? Is this the end of the Fed era? Will he win another slam? I suspect he will be back. He is too good not to be.

Dwain Chambers and the drugs-in-sport debate

2008-07-02T11:55:00.000+01:00

The BBC recently published a news item online about British athlete and former drug cheat Dwain Chambers and his continued effort to overturn a BOA bylaw and represent Team GB at the Beijing Olympics. The full text of the article can be accessed using the link below:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/athletics/7482544.stm

Within the article there is a link to a comment page where users can post their thoughts about Dwain Chambers and the whole ‘drugs-in-sport’ issue. Unsurprisingly the issue is a highly contentious one. Among the large number of nuanced perspectives one can identify two distinct factions: the group who feel Chambers should never be allowed to race again and the group who feel – despite varying degrees of disapproval over drug taking – that once someone has served the punishment for their crime they are entitled to a second chance.

The first group, led by a posse of former athletes which includes the shamelessly self-promoting duo of Dame Kelly Homes and Sir Steve ‘I’ve won 5 Olympic Gold Medals’ Redgrave, are a rather witless band of kneedjerkers. They exhibit no signs of having engaged with the issue on any deeper level than, ‘He took drugs. Drugs is bad.’ I have no time for people who display this level of sophistication.

To be fair to the athletes, I have some sympathy with their position. If you had worked unimaginably hard to achieve success, you would understandably hold in contempt those who you felt had taken a short cut. Not only is it unfair, it also undermines the credibility of the profession.

The problem I have is that whilst the sentiments of clean athletes are perfectly valid, maintaining a blanket rejection to the idea of drugs in sport is incredibly naïve and, in the long-term, totally inviable.

On the immediate level, Chambers has served his punishment in accordance with the rules currently laid down and thus should be free to carry on as before. In any other field this would be the case. It is unethical to attempt to move the goalposts in an effort to appease the self-righteous protestations of a small and disproportionately vocal group.

In the longer term we need to change the whole focus of the debate. Instead of asking how we police drugs in sport and what the punishments should be, we need to look at the pressures that have encouraged proliferation. We also need to ask whether there remain genuine arguments against taking PEDs. Perhaps the answer is just to allow use of performance enhancers in sport – after all, human beings have always sought – via the use of technology – to push the boundaries of what is possible.

If synthetic PEDs can be developed that carry only the same risk of conventional forms of performance enhancement (i.e. intensive training, high altitude training, etc.) then why should there continue to be resistance to their use?

If, as is likely, some athletes continue to benefit from undetectable drugs, isn’t it in fact better to level the playing field?

Wimbledon Week 1 Roundup

2008-06-30T16:49:00.000+01:00

Wimbledon Week 1 Roundup

With the second Monday of this year’s Wimbledon now well underway, it seems an appropriate time to look back at the past week and assess the shocks and success stories thus far.

There were some big early shocks as third seed Novak Djokovic and twice beaten Wimbledon finalist Andy Roddick both bowed out in the second round. This will have been a major disappointment to both players but especially the young Serb, who was so impressive in his narrow defeat to Rafa Nadal in the Queen’s Club final just a week previous. Djokovic’s exit means Nadal looks like the only realistic challenger to the reigning champ Roger Federer, looking for his 6^th successive title.

The two big upsets in the women’s draw were the second round exit of Maria Sharapova, the champion of 2004, and the third round loss of world number 1 and winner of last month’s French Open title, Ana Ivanovic. Both women looked devoid of ideas and threw in a succession of unforced errors in defeat to Alla Kudryavtseva and Jie Zheng respectively.

Among the success we can of course count the usual suspects of Federer, Nadal and, in the women’s draw, the Williams sisters. All have displayed their characteristic strength of mind and no little amount of skill in their passage through the rounds. Indeed, as I write, Federer has just performed a demolition job on the only other player on the men’s circuit to have won a Wimbledon Singles title, Leyton Hewitt.

Nadal is the obvious challenger to Federer but there have been a few other players in the men’s draw who have impressed enough to be worth a mention. Former world number 1 Marat Safin has looked in really good touch, especially in his defeat of Djokovic. He has always had the shots but he now looks to have regained some of the mental toughness that has brought two previous Grand Slam titles. If he keeps this belief he could be a danger to anyone – and he’s on Fed’s side of the draw!

Also on Fed’s side of the draw – indeed playing him in the quarter finals – is Mario Ancic. Ancic remains the last person to beat Fed on grass and has looked like a man in form so far this tournament. However, he is already carrying a couple of minor injuries and is likely to be tired following a gruelling five set win over Fernando Verdasco.

Marcos Baghdatis, Janko Tipsarevic and Marin Cilic have all come through with relative ease, but the player that I’ve been really been impressed with is home favourite Andy Murray. I keep expecting the weight of pressure to tell but with every passing round Murray has looked more and more confident and, crucially, resilient. He will have his work cut out in the next round, however, as he is due to play the exceptionally gifted, if erratic, young Frenchman Richard Gasquet.

The tie is likely to be one to savour as both will see it as opportunity to advance against a relatively inexperienced opponent. We wait to see whether Murray will have the answers to Gasquet’s staggering array of shots.

Well done Cesc. Bye-bye Ade?

2008-06-27T13:08:00.000+01:00

First of all I want to say congratulations to Spain for reaching the final of Euro 2008. Whilst they may not have excited as much as the plucky Turks, they have certainly been the most consistent team of the tournament. I was especially happy to see Fabregas turn in another impressive display after he came on to replace the injured David Villa. To be honest, his ability to influence the game has been so obvious during his several substitute appearances and his one start against Greece that I’m surprised he didn’t start against the Russians. I suppose this is a mark of just how blessed the Spanish manager Luis Aragonés is.

The good news for Cesc is that Villa’s injury looks like keeping him out of the final, which is likely to mean a starting birth for the Arsenal player. This of course I am happy about, and I truly hope Cesc can inspire his team to victory against the insufferably lucky Germans. I do have, however, a speck of caution. If, as is hoped, Spain do triumph, and if, as expected, Cesc plays a central role, it is likely to attract yet more unwelcome attention to Arsenal’s best and brightest.

It would be naïve of me to think that Cesc’s star has not already risen high enough to be seen by the keen-eyes of Europe’s hawks. But further evidence of the youngster’s exceptional ability may provoke the same unscrupulous tactics as have been witnessed during Real Madrid’s ongoing dalliances with Cristiano Ronaldo. A similar thing is already afoot in the form Milan and Barcelona’s pursuit of Emmanuel Adebayor. Contrary to the player’s claims that he wants to stay, his Italian agent Vincenzo Morabito is now claiming there is an “80% chance” the striker will leave for Milan.

Apparently, the only hope Arsenal have of keeping hold of Adebayor is if they treble his wages to £120,000 per week! Given Arsenal’s strict wage structure it is unlikely they will be prepared to offer such a deal, which I suppose means bye-bye Ade. Well, perhaps not. I don’t doubt Milan and Barcelona’s interest in the player – and there would be quite so much smoke without at least a small fire – but much of this hype is media and agent-generated – it’s about shifting newspapers and about establishing a strong negotiating position.

I would be very surprised to see Adebayor go this summer. Certainly it would be a mistake for him to go. Although he was one of the standout players of last term it would be foolish of him to forget the circumstances of his ascent. He was allowed to flourish at Arsenal because he was given time and because the manager repeatedly showed faith. At Arsenal, Adebayor is a key piece of an elaborate jigsaw. He should be aware that if he moves to either Milan or Barcelona his particular talents are unlikely to be indulged so fastidiously – witness Thierry Henry.

2008-06-20T18:07:00.000+01:00

I just want to say a little on what seems to be a growing tendency for some clubs to publicly court players from other clubs with the explicit intention of unsettling the player and thus facilitating a transfer. The most talked-about recent example of this media-assisted tapping-up has of course been the Ronaldo to Madrid saga.

Despite United’s enviable global profile and evident reluctance to sell, it appears Real’s charm offensive may succeed. £60m may go some way to sweetening the deal, but for the European Champions there is more at stake than just money. The loss of their prized asset to one of the Continental heavyweights – even for such an astronomical fee – is likely to cause consternation. Why should they yield to anyone?

This is an understandable sentiment, but it should come as some consolation to United fans that Ronaldo’s desire to leave springs from an irresistible boyhood fantasy to one day play for Real Madrid. The unscrupulous way in which Real are exploiting this dream is regrettable, but I fear there is little can be done to stop them.

The team that have been affected most by the covetous overtures of some of Europe’s elite clubs are Arsenal. Hleb was the first to be targeted, followed by Fabregas, Adebayor, Van Persie and now, it appears, Gael Clichy. As an Arsenal fan, it is immensely frustrating to hear the constant speculation linking your best players with the exit door, but I suppose Arsenal are paying the price for not establishing their credentials as one of Europe’s elite.

After a season in which the team flirted with greatness only to fall at the last, the club’s top players are now hot property. Milan, Barcelona and Inter are waiting to gorge themselves on the fruits of Wenger’s fresh harvest. Any hint of discontent will register like a drop of blood in shark infested waters. If Arsenal were to signal their intentions more overtly – perhaps by imitating the spending of their rivals – they might finally be able to rid themselves of the unwelcome ‘selling-club’ tag. If they choose not to, they will face an incessant threat from clubs more willing to show their ambition.

David Davis

2008-06-17T09:33:00.000+01:00

I just want to make a brief comment about the shameless opportunism of David Davis. Let me say in advance that I agree with the principles on which he is planning to re-contest his seat, however, if he was so committed to the principles of justice and liberty, why did he not resign his seat much earlier?

From a utilitarian perspective, 42 days detention without charge is clearly much worse than 28 days. However, from a deontological standpoint - a standpoint which, like Mr Davis, is concerned with principles not consequences - there is not a significant difference. Plainly, if 6 weeks represents an unnacceptable erosion of our fundamental civil liberties then so does 4 weeks.

In this light, Mr Davis' principled stand is nothing more than opportunism. He wants to make a name for himself as a man of uncompromising values during a time when, for various reasons, the public has lost faith in politics and politicians. We can't even respect David Davis for his bravery because, thanks to the rapidly plummeting fortunes of the Labour Party, the move is virtually risk free.

Bloggy Style

Please Sort It Out.

Komplete F*cking C*nts

Buy, buy, buy, or it's bye, bye, bye

Come down off that chair and put that noose back in the cupboard

Beware the axe wielding Welshman

Branded losers but looking for a strong finish

Kebabs are bad for you - apparently

Criticism should motivate Adebayor to up his game

Eduardo’s return highlights Arsenal’s problem

Writer's bollock

The Demise of Arsenal?

Sue Barker fellating a dolphin...

Stupid people

Arshavin' a laugh?

Back in the game

Ebooing hints at much larger issue

Captain Fabulous may herald turn in fortunes

Reject faith; embrace realism

Economics is high on the agenda but what about defence?

To buy or not to buy? Will Wenger’s faith prove his undoing?

Buying is not always the answer – but sometimes it is

Wimbledon Final: Federer-Nadal

Dwain Chambers and the drugs-in-sport debate

Wimbledon Week 1 Roundup

Well done Cesc. Bye-bye Ade?

David Davis

Komplete Fcking Cnts