Dear friends
I write to you now on matter of grave importance. Had you the means or desire to hear these words spoken from my lips you would sense already the solemnity which grips my person, for what I am about to tell you has rocked me to my soul.
On Tuesday last I was strolling gaily (that means happily, I ain’t a battyman) through the fens of Brixton Town, lapping up the sun and enjoying the hit from the rock I’d just devoured. My pristine moment was rudely interrupted by an urgent need to defecate and with no suitable containers handy I was forced to make an unplanned diversion into KFC.
Having relieved myself of my heavy burden – and having taken the time to mop the floor – I exited with haste, but not before glancing instinctively at the array of delectables on offer. It was then that the horror struck.
Right beneath ‘Bargain Bucket’ and just above ‘Variety Bucket’ were the words ‘Family Feast’. It cannot be. Could the Colonel really have the temerity, nay the bald-faced cheek, to endow his family-sized feast with name ‘Family Feast’?
The Colonel had in fact gone further than that. Not only has he called his family feast ‘Family Feast’, he has actually trademarked the name. In other words, I would be in breach of the law if I decided to name my own family-sized meal the ‘Family Feast’ and then advertise it to the public.
But surely this is only a technicality. KFC would not actually deploy a crack squad of menu spies to filter back information about small, family-owned businesses and potential breaches of trademark, would they? Actually, it would appear that that is exactly what they do. And they are not alone.
McDonald’s have been embroiled in a number of legal battles to ensure their treasured brand name is not exploited. In some cases, however, this has resulted in them challenging companies with legitimate claims to trademarked names, such as the case of Norman McDonald, who was forced to change the name of his Kentucky diner from "McDonald's Hamburgers" to "Norman McDonald's Hamburgers", so as to avoid confusing the American public. (I suppose this is easily done).
To be fair, although I do not necessarily support McDonald’s case, I can understand the reasoning, for Norman McDonald, having erected replica golden arches (which he was forced to take down), was clearly trying to cash in on the McDonald’s brand.
What possible reason could there be, however, for attempting to deprive a family business of an item name on their menu? Did KFC really think they were trying to hoodwink the public? Did they think they were making megabucks out of the remarkably unremarkable, ‘Family Feast’?
What’s more incredible is that this is the second time KFC has attempted to remove the name from the menu of an independent food outlet - and failed. Did they not learn anything the first time?
Friday 22 May 2009
Monday 11 May 2009
Buy, buy, buy, or it's bye, bye, bye
Let’s make no bones about it. Sunday’s 4-1 home defeat against rivals Chelsea was a humiliation. Especially off the back of the 3-1 defeat by Manchester United in the Champions League Semis – also on home soil.
Such was the manner of those maulings that many people are wondering where Arsenal turn from here. They are still a ‘top four’ side but the evidence suggests they are closer to Villa and Everton than they are to the three teams sitting above them.
What has gone wrong and what, if anything, can be done to change it?
The answer to the first question is straightforward. Arsenal lack star quality in key areas of the pitch.
Accepting that his club would be unable to go toe-to-toe in the transfer market with the likes of Chelsea, Man U and increasingly Liverpool, Arsene Wenger has sought to nurture a team of superstars by recruiting hordes of talented youngsters.
This idea is all well and good, and the manager’s commitment to it is admirable, yet it is not clear whether such an exercise is compatible with success. There are a number of precedents for this kind of approach – Ajax, to name one – but these teams never had to compete in the billionaires’ playground that is the Premier League.
If Arsenal continue to rely on organic, year-on-year improvement, they will always be playing catch-up, because their main rivals will continue to add first class professionals to their already superior squads.
Man United were crowned domestic and European champions last season, yet they did not rest on their laurels. Ferguson knew there was room for improvement and promptly recruited the services of Dimitar Berbatov for around £30m.
Arsenal cannot compete at that level, but that does not mean they should not compete at all. At the same time as Man United were making concrete improvements to their glittering array of talent, Arsenal were actually waving goodbye to two of last seasons form players: Alex Hleb and Mathieu Flamini. Players were brought in, but none of them were proven performers.
Wenger must have been hoping for some sort of eureka moment, when his talented youngsters suddenly realised all that untapped potential, but this week’s dismal dénouement will surely have robbed him of this optimism.
This is a good thing. I think Wenger is slowly but surely coming round to the idea that he must mix experience with youth. He does not have to abandon his project wholesale, but he must now realise that young players improve much more rapidly when playing alongside top pros. You can have all the talent in the world but it is worthless if it has no direction or leadership.
The good news, as I’ve said before, is that not a lot is needed. Ideally we would purchase four new players, but even two key additions would make a huge difference. A leader at the back and a ball-winning centre-midfielder would improve Arsenal’s on-field fortunes dramatically. It’s fine to have players like Song, Denilson and Djourou as cover, but I think they’re still too young to be relied upon as first team players.
They have the talent but not the mental strength and I think too much pressure is being heaped on them. If the manager were to relieve this pressure by bringing quality first-teamers, I think you would also see an improvement in the performances of those mentioned. This is the situation with players like Jonny Evans and Danny Wellbeck at Man U.
It would also take pressure off the few ‘senior’ players at the club, like RvP, Fabregas and Adebayor. We might start seeing the best of them again.
Such was the manner of those maulings that many people are wondering where Arsenal turn from here. They are still a ‘top four’ side but the evidence suggests they are closer to Villa and Everton than they are to the three teams sitting above them.
What has gone wrong and what, if anything, can be done to change it?
The answer to the first question is straightforward. Arsenal lack star quality in key areas of the pitch.
Accepting that his club would be unable to go toe-to-toe in the transfer market with the likes of Chelsea, Man U and increasingly Liverpool, Arsene Wenger has sought to nurture a team of superstars by recruiting hordes of talented youngsters.
This idea is all well and good, and the manager’s commitment to it is admirable, yet it is not clear whether such an exercise is compatible with success. There are a number of precedents for this kind of approach – Ajax, to name one – but these teams never had to compete in the billionaires’ playground that is the Premier League.
If Arsenal continue to rely on organic, year-on-year improvement, they will always be playing catch-up, because their main rivals will continue to add first class professionals to their already superior squads.
Man United were crowned domestic and European champions last season, yet they did not rest on their laurels. Ferguson knew there was room for improvement and promptly recruited the services of Dimitar Berbatov for around £30m.
Arsenal cannot compete at that level, but that does not mean they should not compete at all. At the same time as Man United were making concrete improvements to their glittering array of talent, Arsenal were actually waving goodbye to two of last seasons form players: Alex Hleb and Mathieu Flamini. Players were brought in, but none of them were proven performers.
Wenger must have been hoping for some sort of eureka moment, when his talented youngsters suddenly realised all that untapped potential, but this week’s dismal dénouement will surely have robbed him of this optimism.
This is a good thing. I think Wenger is slowly but surely coming round to the idea that he must mix experience with youth. He does not have to abandon his project wholesale, but he must now realise that young players improve much more rapidly when playing alongside top pros. You can have all the talent in the world but it is worthless if it has no direction or leadership.
The good news, as I’ve said before, is that not a lot is needed. Ideally we would purchase four new players, but even two key additions would make a huge difference. A leader at the back and a ball-winning centre-midfielder would improve Arsenal’s on-field fortunes dramatically. It’s fine to have players like Song, Denilson and Djourou as cover, but I think they’re still too young to be relied upon as first team players.
They have the talent but not the mental strength and I think too much pressure is being heaped on them. If the manager were to relieve this pressure by bringing quality first-teamers, I think you would also see an improvement in the performances of those mentioned. This is the situation with players like Jonny Evans and Danny Wellbeck at Man U.
It would also take pressure off the few ‘senior’ players at the club, like RvP, Fabregas and Adebayor. We might start seeing the best of them again.
Wednesday 6 May 2009
Come down off that chair and put that noose back in the cupboard
Last night was a bitterly disappointing one for Arsenal fans. Some perhaps went a little overboard in their efforts to take away the pain but even the saner among us found a hand inching towards the nearest bottle of lighter fluid.
It wasn’t defeat per se that was difficult to take. It was the manner of it. To get so hyped up for a contest, to convince oneself that victory was possible, only to have the dream ripped to pieces in little over 10 minutes. It was a depressing sight.
I had mentioned to friends before kick off that I’d be happy so long as we gave it a good go and kept it interesting until the last. To be fair to the lads, they started with the right attitude. The tempo was quick and the crowd, who were in good voice, were just beginning to sense something special.
It all changed, however, when Manyoo got the slice of luck that their first-leg superiority probably warranted.
Arsenal really needed to get the first goal to keep the tie interesting as a contest, yet they were undone not eight minutes in by a dreadfully unfortunate slip from the 19-year-old left back Kieran Gibbs, allowing Park Ji-Sung to steal in and lift the ball over Almunia.
This goal – against the run of play – was the best thing the United players could have hoped for. Not only did Arsenal now require three goals, they would also have to fight to reinvigorate the stunned supporters rendered mute by the concession of such an early goal.
This second challenge was made all but impossible by the Ronaldo freekick that followed three minutes later. Two-nil down. Game over. That was certainly the feeling with the Arsenal support. There just isn’t the belief anymore. Some might question the fans – especially the ones who felt it necessary to leave after the third went in – but it’s difficult to blame them.
How much investment do they put in – emotional and financial? A lot, is the answer. They are entitled to expect a little more in return. More effort. More quality. More passion. What the fans got last night was a ‘fuck you’. ‘Fuck you for caring’. How cruel a mistress football can be.
Of course everyone is now rolling out the familiar accusations: Arsenal have no experience; it was men against boys; Wenger needs to go. The truth is less dramatic.
Yes Arsenal were second best throughout. Yes this is not where we want to be. And yes Wenger needs to strengthen in the summer. But there is no need to panic. Our Kenyan friend perhaps jumped the gun and it is unfortunate that he won’t be around to regret his hasty decision.
First of all, it is an impressive achievement in itself to get to the semi-final of the Champions League, especially in the context of Arsenal’s ever-presence in the competition under Wenger and our appearance in the final three years ago.
Secondly, although we were comprehensively outplayed in the first leg, in the second leg we were extremely unfortunate to concede such an early goal. A bright start had indicated a victory might be on the cards, but the wind was taken from our sails by an early slip which resulted in a goal. I don’t blame Kieran Gibbs, it was an accident. Sadly it was an accident that could not have happened at a worse time.
This, however, brings me to my third point: injuries. Young Gibbs would not have been playing if first-choice left-back Gael Clichy had been fit. It’s fair to point out that title winning teams need good squad depth, but this season, at various points, and for a significant number or games, Arsenal have had to make do without Eduardo, Walcott, Rosicky, RvP, Fabregas, Diaby, Gallas, Clichy, Adebayor and Djourou. That’s one short of an entire team.
To make matters worse these injuries have tended to stack up in the most awkward of ways. This was most obvious when, during the same period as welcoming back the attacking trio of Fabregas, Walcott and Eduardo, we lost the defensive quartet of Almunia, Clichy, Gallas and Sagna. My intention here is not to moan, but simply to point out that things could have been different had lady luck had been a bit kinder with injuries.
The final reason to remain quietly optimistic is the state of the squad. Some players have clearly underperformed this season and the manager would do well to ship them out. I’m thinking mainly of Adebayor (lazy), Diaby (greedy) and Silvestre (shit). Denilson, Bendtner, Djourou and Song have not exactly set the world alight either but I have seen enough from them, given their young age, to think they’re worth holding on to.
Other than that the team is very good. I rate Fabregas, Theo, Nasri, Gallas, Clichy, Sagna, Toure, RvP and Almunia all pretty highly. If we can add to these the experience, energy and strength that we quite clearly need, then we will have a very competitive team next year, especially with the exceptionally talented Andrei Arshavin now involved.
This guy is pure class. He also has experience. Not only will he be instrumental in the coming seasons, but I suspect his eye-catching introduction to English football will have convinced Wenger that splashing out on top draw players – as long as they are the right players – can be worth every penny.
There are likely to be funds available during the summer thanks to the continued interest and investment from Kroenke and his rival Usmanov. Couple this with Wenger’s guile in the transfer market, and the undoubted ambition of the club’s new Managing Director Ivan Gazidis, and there is reason to believe a much needed overhaul will begin in the summer.
Given Wenger’s forlorn look and unusually introspective comments following last night’s defeat – and given also that the defeat effectively ended Arsenal’s involvement in meaningful competition this season, save perhaps an outside shot at stealing 3rd from Chelsea – there is a possibility that the recruitment drive has already begun.
It wasn’t defeat per se that was difficult to take. It was the manner of it. To get so hyped up for a contest, to convince oneself that victory was possible, only to have the dream ripped to pieces in little over 10 minutes. It was a depressing sight.
I had mentioned to friends before kick off that I’d be happy so long as we gave it a good go and kept it interesting until the last. To be fair to the lads, they started with the right attitude. The tempo was quick and the crowd, who were in good voice, were just beginning to sense something special.
It all changed, however, when Manyoo got the slice of luck that their first-leg superiority probably warranted.
Arsenal really needed to get the first goal to keep the tie interesting as a contest, yet they were undone not eight minutes in by a dreadfully unfortunate slip from the 19-year-old left back Kieran Gibbs, allowing Park Ji-Sung to steal in and lift the ball over Almunia.
This goal – against the run of play – was the best thing the United players could have hoped for. Not only did Arsenal now require three goals, they would also have to fight to reinvigorate the stunned supporters rendered mute by the concession of such an early goal.
This second challenge was made all but impossible by the Ronaldo freekick that followed three minutes later. Two-nil down. Game over. That was certainly the feeling with the Arsenal support. There just isn’t the belief anymore. Some might question the fans – especially the ones who felt it necessary to leave after the third went in – but it’s difficult to blame them.
How much investment do they put in – emotional and financial? A lot, is the answer. They are entitled to expect a little more in return. More effort. More quality. More passion. What the fans got last night was a ‘fuck you’. ‘Fuck you for caring’. How cruel a mistress football can be.
Of course everyone is now rolling out the familiar accusations: Arsenal have no experience; it was men against boys; Wenger needs to go. The truth is less dramatic.
Yes Arsenal were second best throughout. Yes this is not where we want to be. And yes Wenger needs to strengthen in the summer. But there is no need to panic. Our Kenyan friend perhaps jumped the gun and it is unfortunate that he won’t be around to regret his hasty decision.
First of all, it is an impressive achievement in itself to get to the semi-final of the Champions League, especially in the context of Arsenal’s ever-presence in the competition under Wenger and our appearance in the final three years ago.
Secondly, although we were comprehensively outplayed in the first leg, in the second leg we were extremely unfortunate to concede such an early goal. A bright start had indicated a victory might be on the cards, but the wind was taken from our sails by an early slip which resulted in a goal. I don’t blame Kieran Gibbs, it was an accident. Sadly it was an accident that could not have happened at a worse time.
This, however, brings me to my third point: injuries. Young Gibbs would not have been playing if first-choice left-back Gael Clichy had been fit. It’s fair to point out that title winning teams need good squad depth, but this season, at various points, and for a significant number or games, Arsenal have had to make do without Eduardo, Walcott, Rosicky, RvP, Fabregas, Diaby, Gallas, Clichy, Adebayor and Djourou. That’s one short of an entire team.
To make matters worse these injuries have tended to stack up in the most awkward of ways. This was most obvious when, during the same period as welcoming back the attacking trio of Fabregas, Walcott and Eduardo, we lost the defensive quartet of Almunia, Clichy, Gallas and Sagna. My intention here is not to moan, but simply to point out that things could have been different had lady luck had been a bit kinder with injuries.
The final reason to remain quietly optimistic is the state of the squad. Some players have clearly underperformed this season and the manager would do well to ship them out. I’m thinking mainly of Adebayor (lazy), Diaby (greedy) and Silvestre (shit). Denilson, Bendtner, Djourou and Song have not exactly set the world alight either but I have seen enough from them, given their young age, to think they’re worth holding on to.
Other than that the team is very good. I rate Fabregas, Theo, Nasri, Gallas, Clichy, Sagna, Toure, RvP and Almunia all pretty highly. If we can add to these the experience, energy and strength that we quite clearly need, then we will have a very competitive team next year, especially with the exceptionally talented Andrei Arshavin now involved.
This guy is pure class. He also has experience. Not only will he be instrumental in the coming seasons, but I suspect his eye-catching introduction to English football will have convinced Wenger that splashing out on top draw players – as long as they are the right players – can be worth every penny.
There are likely to be funds available during the summer thanks to the continued interest and investment from Kroenke and his rival Usmanov. Couple this with Wenger’s guile in the transfer market, and the undoubted ambition of the club’s new Managing Director Ivan Gazidis, and there is reason to believe a much needed overhaul will begin in the summer.
Given Wenger’s forlorn look and unusually introspective comments following last night’s defeat – and given also that the defeat effectively ended Arsenal’s involvement in meaningful competition this season, save perhaps an outside shot at stealing 3rd from Chelsea – there is a possibility that the recruitment drive has already begun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)